I struggled to be here in the moment with the people I love. I’ve been so focused on the future, I lost the point of living. I was getting so angry with my life even though I have a good life,
- Good family
- No money issues
- Good job
- Nice home and car
But for some reason, I focused on two things that I have no full control over.
- The past
- The future
I’ve had a past of bad choices and horrid moments with people who I should not have trusted. It took me a long time to figure out who really was there for me. Sadly people do use others for their own gain, be it sexual or materialistic or other gains. I spent a lot of my life trying to please everyone else be someone I thought they wanted me to be. I looked at my life and got angry that I didn’t already have a house that I have a mortgage on. I got angry that I was not pregnant or have any children. I got angry at everything I was not. Then I looked in the mirror and saw a complete stranger.
No more anger for things I cannot change. The past is not who I am anymore so why go back to it so many times in one day.
I feel if we think about the future or past we lose everything we hold and have in the present. I vow to no longer do that.
If some dreams and hopes don’t come true then that was meant to be.
Nothing is important as being happy in the skin I am in. I shall continue to stay kind and help others. Love myself and be selfish at times for my own well being. Just to fill every adventure with love.
Thank you and may the sun bless you.