So here is how it goes, I am blessed with the life I have…

I know this due to I should have died when I was 7 years young…

Doctors saved me by cutting me up, open and mixed…

Mixed feelings on whether that was good.

Depressive thoughts run around and stop and contemplate my pain…

I don’t have cancer or life ending disease, the pain I have can never be washed away from me…

I live daily praying that the pain will stop…

Emotional pain tries to weaken me, I won’t let it take my light.

Physical pain that they refuse to see is growing like a weed inside me…

Once a brave man looked and removed some weeds away…

But that man is nowhere today, so they give drugs and drugs to numb a spark of the pain…

Inside they are adding to the pain, it’s growing tangled and absorbing my body…

Still, it will not show its face on scans or screenshots, you cannot feel it but trust me I do…

So I live on in pain, every day takes a little more life from me and I have to build up my smile again…

I have used up my tears on the pain that remains but you will never see the weakness of pain

as my strength is the only light I will let this world see…

3rdofthe3rd

This was written while in lots of pain on very strong painkillers, I’ve been in hospitals a lot in the last few years this hurts move as if takes me away from my work and stops me living my life how I wish to live it. My appendix burst when I was 7 years old, thankfully I have angels watching me bringing me through to carry on living. Leaving me with a 30cm scar on my stomach. When I was 20, I have these pains that were so painful and because I have PCOS straight to a gynecologist I went. Nothing on scans showed up until one brave Doctor opened me up and sure very bad adhesions. He removed most of the adhesions and I was pain-free for 10 years. Now when I go into hospitals they push me around to each other’s departments and then give me painkillers and send me on my way. This is very draining, I know what I need and I know the risks but no one will stand up for me. Nhs won’t help and I don’t have thousands of pounds, so I live in pain knowing one day someone will do adhesiolysis again to help me.

Keep smiling.